End of life care is a profound and deeply personal field that calls to those with a unique blend of compassion, strength, and insight. It’s a path that asks us to confront our mortality while providing comfort and guidance to others during their most vulnerable moments. If you’re considering this career, you’re likely drawn to making a meaningful difference in people’s lives. But how do you know if it’s truly right for you?
As someone who has walked this path, I can tell you that the journey into end of life care is as much about self-discovery as it is about helping others. It’s a calling that requires careful consideration, deep introspection, and a willingness to embrace the challenges and rewards of this meaningful work.
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The Call to Become a Death Doula
When I first felt the call to end of life care, I was filled with uncertainty. I didn’t come from a medical background and couldn’t quite articulate why I felt so drawn to this field. Even though I felt the call so strongly, it took me a while to move forward with my training.
My training had a strong spiritual component, which resonated deeply with me and reinforced that I was on the right track. It wasn’t until I was well into my program that I began to understand the true nature of my calling.
A Personal Loss That Shaped My Path
My life story includes a profound loss that has shaped my approach to end of life care. It’s also part of what drew me to this work. Here’s a piece I wrote about my soul’s call during my training:
“When I was in deep grief after my baby was born still, I read a story about an old woman sharing about the grief she’d experienced throughout her life due to her baby being born still. What went right to my heart was her sharing about the way she still thought about her baby daily and that she still missed him, but the pain wasn’t as relentless as it was in the beginning. That statement gave me hope that someday I, too, would be able not to have the searing pain of loss. Now I feel the same way that old woman felt. I feel that I have healed from my loss, but only to a certain extent. The loss will remain with me forever. When I think of being a doula, coach, and educator, I want to offer the people that I am honored to serve support and grace. My mom and my husband were the extent of my grief community. I want to weave a web large enough to catch, hold, and connect people in a way that I am not the only source of death care and support in the community.”
This reflection helped me understand that my journey into end of life care was intimately connected to my own experiences with loss and grief—primarily the death of my son but also the death of my grandma. Through my pain, I discovered my passion and embraced my capacity to support others in their most difficult moments. I also have done and will continue to do healing work along the way.
Claiming My Superpowers
As I progressed in my training and education, I found that this work allowed me to align my identity with my purpose in a way I had never experienced before. It challenged me to grow, embrace my strengths, and continually learn and evolve.
I recognized that many of the qualities I had been told throughout my life were unacceptable were actually my superpowers. Being sensitive, intuitive, and deeply feeling are powerful assets in my work as an end of life practitioner. These unique strengths allow me to connect with and support people in profound and powerful ways.
The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) – Being a highly sensitive person used to feel like a burden in many aspects of life. However, in end of life care, my sensitivity became a gift. It allows me to pick up on subtle cues, sense the unspoken needs of patients and their families, and create a soothing environment that honors the delicate nature of the dying process.
Intuition as a Guide – My intuitive nature, which I have doubted in the past, is an invaluable tool in this work. It helps me navigate emotional situations and often guides me to offer comfort and calm. My intuition also helps me be okay when there are no words. It helps me deepen my presence in tender moments. Trusting and listening to my intuition has led to some of the most meaningful connections and insights.
Embracing Neurodivergence – Being neurodivergent brings a unique perspective to end of life care. My ability to think outside conventional norms often leads to creative solutions for comfort care or in addressing the diverse needs of patients and families. It also helps me connect with patients who may process their experiences differently, ensuring they feel accepted, seen, and understood.
The Power of Calm – My natural calmness anchors me in intense emotions and challenging situations. It provides a sense of stability for those navigating the turbulent waters of grief and loss. This calmness isn’t about suppressing emotions; it’s about creating loving spaciousness where all feelings can be expressed and honored—even the big and tender ones.
Deep Feeling as a Strength – My capacity for deep feeling, which once seemed overwhelming, now serves as a wellspring of compassion. It allows me to truly empathize with the pain of others without being consumed by it. This depth of feeling helps me to be fully present with the range of emotions that arise in end of life situations, offering genuine support and understanding.
What Are Your Superpowers?
For those considering a path in end of life care, I encourage you to reflect on your own superpowers. What qualities do you possess that might serve you in this field? How might your sensitivities, your way of thinking, or your emotional capacity be assets rather than hindrances?
Take a moment to consider:
- What personal experiences have shaped your interest in end of life care?
- Which of your qualities do others often rely on in difficult times?
- How do you typically respond to emotionally charged situations?
Embracing these aspects of yourself could be the key to finding deep fulfillment in this profoundly meaningful work.
Discovering Your Sacred Deathcare Archetype
As we’ve explored throughout this article, the journey into end of life care is deeply personal. It’s a path that calls for self-reflection, empathy, and a willingness to engage with some of life’s most profound questions.
Sacred Deathcare is more than a profession or career; it’s a holistic approach to dying, death, and grief that encompasses spiritual, emotional, physical, and social aspects. It invites us to approach death with compassion and curiosity as we create meaningful and dignified experiences for the dying, their loved ones, and their support systems.
If you resonate with what I’ve shared and feel called to explore further, I invite you to take a playful next step. I’ve created a quiz called What’s Your Sacred Deathcare Archetype? that can provide valuable insights into how your personality and strengths might align with this work.
By taking a few minutes with the What’s Your Sacred Deathcare Archetype quiz, you can:
- Gain deeper insight into your personality
- Discover how your unique traits can bring meaning, comfort, and support to dying, death, and grief
- Explore potential roles within the field of end of life care that align with your archetype
- Reflect on how your personal experiences and strengths can contribute to this sacred work
Remember, there’s no “right” way to engage in end of life care. Your journey will be as unique as you are. This quiz was created to help you uncover your natural inclinations and strengths by providing a starting point for further exploration. Let your curiosity guide you. And most importantly, trust in the wisdom of your own heart and experiences.
Are you ready to discover your Sacred Deathcare Archetype? Take the quiz now and take the next step towards meaningful and compassionate end of life care.
Grace & Peace,
Rhea Mader, CT
Learn more about me
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need a medical background to work in end-of-life care? No. While some roles require medical training, many aspects of end of life care focus on emotional, spiritual, and practical support. Read this article for more information.
How can I gain experience in this field? Consider volunteering at hospices, attending death cafes, or taking courses.
Is this work emotionally draining? While it can be emotionally intense, many practitioners find it deeply fulfilling. Self-care and good boundaries are essential. Read this article for more information.